Vamp

I have frequently ruminated about the general lack of humour in GBLT novels; well, Vamp by Rob Rosen certainly turned that around – in spades!

I don’t generally read vampire stories, nor do I understand the populist love affair with them, but Rob Rosen’s take on the genre is not only appropriate (… they are fictional, after all), but hilariously funny, almost slapstick, at the same time.

Jack Jackowski is just an ordinary bloke until he receives word that he has somehow inherited a fabulous fortune from an erstwhile unknown cousin, Boris Jackowski – You just have to love these corn-ball names!

If that wasn’t odd enough for Jack, things really start to get bizarre when he goes to inspect his new inheritance. It seems he has also inherited a man servant by the name of ‘Igor’, (yes, hunchbacked too), and in the basement of the Gothic mansion are two coffins with a note from Cousin Boris informing him that he is really a vampire.

Jack accepts and after he undergoes the transition he heads outside to test his powers. It is then he detects an intriguing odour, and following it up he meets Steven; the alpha-male in a pack of werewolves. Not surprisingly, having other-worldly powers in common, they have a mating of spirts and flesh, until some spoilsport starts heaving spears at them.

No, it’s not Pat Robertson or a member if the Westboro goons, but just who it is I’ll leave to you to find out. J

'Vamp' by Rob Rosen reminded me of a Mel Brooks film within the first few pages, and since I'm a huge fan, there is no greater praise I can give. In point of fact, every time I read the name "Igor" in the story, I simply heard it in my head as "Eye-gor"! This book had all the quirky, laugh-out-loud moments, with a great story that was very well written and strong characters, both main and secondary.

Jack has had a pretty weird week. First he gets a phone call from his as-yet-unheard-of cousin, Boris's, lawyer informing Jack that his cousin has died and left his entire, ginormous, estate to Jack as his only living relative. When Jack goes to his new mansion to meet the lawyer, he encounters Igor, his cousin's tinker, tailor, soldier, spy, so to speak. Igor is Jack's humpbacked man of all trades, butler, cook, chauffeur, housekeeper, lawyer, etc. Jack is drawn to the basement and to a coffin where Boris left him a letter explaining he was a vampire, and Jack will be too, as soon as he drinks of the vial Boris left him. Wow, talk about an inheritance! Jack, as a newly fledged vampire, in fact, possibly the last vampire, and with no one to train him, stumbles upon Steven, alpha of a werewolf pack. Actually, he doesn't stumble so much as sniffs him out as the most amazing thing Jack has ever smelled, which leads to hot supernatural beach sex, but then is cut short by a man throwing spears and trying to impale Jack. Bummer.

Turns out there is a war going on, but Boris didn't leave Jack a whole lot of information as to who is at war, and why. Jack is pretty much on his own, except now he also has Steven, alpha werewolf, Blake, the QueerWolf, and his pack, plus two werewolf bodyguards, one of which is a Barbra Streisand impersonator. With the help of Igor, and the werewolves, Jack is able to get some much needed information as to who is after him. Of course, staying alive until they can deal with the information is a whole other challenge.

I adored this story, with all of its campy humor, drag queen werewolves, humpbacked manservants, and cheesy dialogue. It was fabulous fun that I can easily recommend to any lover of a laugh and old vampy movies. Pun intended!