What happens when a hunky demon visits you and commands you to break all ten commandments? Or when a handsome angel orders you to do the opposite? And what if you’re Bobby Ray, and you’ve already broken nine of the ten, and thou shalt not kill is a close brick away, and the demon has tacked on a cushy afterlife in hell as a reward? Decisions, decisions. And poor Bobby Ray has never been good at one decision, let alone multiple ones. Broke, divorced, and pretty darn miserable, does he do what’s right or what’s easy?
In this darkly comical romantic adventure, Bobby Ray, with the help of numerous friends and just as many enemies, one being his ex-husband, travels from Georgia to Israel and ultimately across Egypt and the Gaza Strip in search of the one clue that will hopefully save them all, and possibly the entire world. Will good win out over evil, love over hate? Or will Bobby Ray ultimately break the universe?
The angel moved a step closer, a step closer still, tippy toes dragging the floor. He was now standing directly in front of me—or maybe it was closer to hovering, really—leaning down, in. I stared into eyes blue as the heavens. Go figure. It was, in fact, a bit like looking into eternity itself. “Your parents sound delightful but be that as it may—”
I held up my hand. “I get it, I get it. Honor. Don’t kill. Blah, blah, blah.” I squinted up at him. “You visit everyone who’s about to break a commandment? Because I’d have thought we would’ve met a hell of a lot sooner than now.”
The angel straightened his back and moved an inch in reserve. Up until that moment, he looked, I don’t know, sort of at peace. All angelic looking. Like he didn’t have a care in the world. But just for a second, I could’ve sworn I saw a flinch of pain. Maybe it was my choice of words. Or word. Hell, I mean.READ MORE
“I—” he said, but suddenly got cut off. No, there wasn’t a bright light again. I was glad for that. My eyes were still watering from the first one. This time, there was a puff of foul-smelling smoke, very fire and brimstone stinking. I mean, I guess. Not like I’d smelled brimstone before. Not that I even knew what brimstone was. In any case, I coughed, rubbed at my nose as the black cloud disappeared to reveal what I assumed was a demon. I mean, the guy was red all over and had horns protruding a good foot from his temples, so demon was probably a good guess, as guesses went. Plus, I already had an angel, so a demon seemed logical. As much as anything did right about then, I mean.
“He has special reason to be here, human,” said the demon, his voice gravelly, deep, as he pointed to the he in question. It made my bones rattle, made my dick go boing. You could feel the evil emanating off him. It was a tangible thing. But you could feel something else, too. Something, I don’t know, more human.
I blinked at the demon. “Not just a standard house call?”
The demon walked my way. He had hooves that made a clomping sound on the wooden floor. He was naked, his fire-engine-red hose of a dick swinging as he approached. He was dense with muscle. Meaning, no, I didn’t look at the brick again, because, no, I couldn’t have taken the demon. He leaned down, in, his face an inch from mine, eyes black as night, blacker even. Again, it was like looking into eternity, and one I wanted no part of. “No, human. Not a house call.”
“Bobby Ray,” I squeaked out.COLLAPSE