Bobby Ray Breaks the Universe

“I—” he said, but suddenly got cut off. No, there wasn’t a bright light again. I was glad for that. My eyes were still watering from the first one. This time, there was a puff of foul-smelling smoke, very fire and brimstone stinking. I mean, I guess. Not like I’d smelled brimstone before. Not that I even knew what brimstone was. In any case, I coughed, rubbed at my nose as the black cloud disappeared to reveal what I assumed was a demon. I mean, the guy was red all over and had horns protruding a good foot from his temples, so demon was probably a good guess, as guesses went. Plus, I already had an angel, so a demon seemed logical. As much as anything did right about then, I mean.

“He has special reason to be here, human,” said the demon, his voice gravelly, deep, as he pointed to the he in question. It made my bones rattle, made my dick go boing. You could feel the evil emanating off him. It was a tangible thing. But you could feel something else, too. Something, I don’t know, more human.

I blinked at the demon. “Not just a standard house call?”

The demon walked my way. He had hooves that made a clomping sound on the wooden floor. He was naked, his fire-engine-red hose of a dick swinging as he approached. He was dense with muscle. Meaning, no, I didn’t look at the brick again, because, no, I couldn’t have taken the demon. He leaned down, in, his face an inch from mine, eyes black as night, blacker even. Again, it was like looking into eternity, and one I wanted no part of. “No, human. Not a house call.”

“Bobby Ray,” I squeaked out.