by
A story about coming of age queer. About love between men. About fathers and sons. About longing, fulfillment, heartbreak, and joy.
After yet another fight with his father, Pierre leaves home. He doesn't plan on leaving, but on his way to school the next day he doesn't get off the bus. Still in his uniform, he goes to the end of the line, sticks out his thumb, and takes the first ride. He doesn’t see himself as a runaway, more as a wanderer. He’s heading to, not from. To what, he doesn’t know. His ignorance of the world has been imposed. His self-assurance is all his own. The only thing he knows to be true is his attraction to men.
This is his story. From boy to man. From the 70s to the 90s. From the backwoods to the whole wide world. From pining after an elusive loner to later, much later, meeting a single dad. For nearly twenty years we watch Pierre grow from a teenager afraid of nothing to a man who's learned one thing: he's better off on his own. Life begs to differ.
Here is the latest installment in the Pierre & Bill series and the beginning of the story. In Pierre & Bill: A Love Story we meet them in their prime. In Pierre & Bill Now we follow them into the future. Now, we discover Pierre before he even meets Bill - or Danny or Ruth or Liam. And we find out what makes him who he is: cocksure, determined, and impossible not to love.
He must have fallen asleep because when he woke, the view was different. He wasn’t staring at the buttoned wall. He was staring at Ed’s back. He must have flipped over on his side. Ed didn’t appear to notice, so he stayed where he was. Making sure he kept himself on his side of the dent in the blanket, he took in his new view. He much preferred it to the wall.
Even though it was hidden under a t-shirt, Pierre could make out every inch of Ed’s back. From the wide shoulders through to the narrow waist, it was strong and lean. For the first time, he wished he’d listened in biology class so that he could name each muscle. But he couldn’t. He could see them, though. Even through the cotton, he could see each one. Raising his hand, he traced them in the air. He didn’t make contact. He admired from afar, at least a few inches.
“You should get some sleep,” came the voice from the other side.
READ MOREStartled, Pierre withdrew his hand and slipped it between his legs. “I wake you?”
“Nah, been awake a while.”
“Me, I am still on other side, you know, like you say.”
Ed smiled. Pierre could hear it in his voice. “I know.”
Another pause. Pierre was getting used to Ed’s pauses. They could be short or long and could be a sign of more talking to come or none at all. Right now, things were different, he thought. While waiting, he thought back to a sleepover he’d had with a friend one night. The dark was made for sharing, especially when eyes didn’t meet. Then, as he felt it would be, the pause ended.
“You’re too young to be alone.” Ed spoke without turning around.
“I am not alone,” Pierre quietly pointed out.
“I don’t mean right now. I mean in your life. It’s not good.”
“Sometime it is better.”
“But why? You’re smart. You’re…” Another pause. “You know, nice-looking and all that. And you’ve got guts. I’ll give you that.” Getting no reply, he tried again. “What’s with the uniform?” Still nothing “Come on. What’s your story? Where you from?”
Pierre kept his eyes on Ed’s back and watched it rise and fall. “From far.”
“Like from Europe? Is that the accent?”
“No. North. Far north.”
“You mean Montreal? I drove through there once.”
“No. More north. Much more.”
“What’s it called?”
Pierre shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about where he was from. “Nothing. It is call nothing.”
Ed sighed. “You don’t like giving names, do you.”
Suddenly, he could feel himself opening. Like a morning glory at first sun, he was overwhelmed by the heat. “It is call Chibougamau, where I am from.”
“Chiboug…” Ed stumbled over the word. “Never heard of it.”
“No surprise.”
“So, things not good at home?”
“Things not good at home,” Pierre confirmed and added. “Like you?”
The pause was long this time and Pierre thought that Ed must have fallen asleep. But he stayed where he was. He didn’t turn back to the wall, though. He even inched a little across the collapsing barrier. But Ed had more to say and when he spoke, his voice was heavy and thick.
“You make me so sad.”
Pierre drew back. He’d do anything for this man but he wouldn’t lie. “Not me,” he said. “You make me happy.”
Sucking in what sounded like all the air in the world, Ed held his breath before exhaling a long, soulful sigh. Pierre waited but there was no more. Ed didn’t speak or turn to face him and he stayed on his side of the bed. Even without being able to see his face, Pierre could feel his pain. He didn’t blame himself. He knew that whatever was happening to Ed began long before he’d climbed into the cab. So, he watched him. Feeling almost protective, he watched him late into the night.
When he woke, a pale sun was streaming through the little window at the foot of the bed. It took him a moment to take in the scene and even when it all came back — the truck, the driver, the storm, the bed — he was still surprised. They were no longer lying back to back. He was snuggled right up to Ed with his arm thrown around him. And Ed had taken Pierre’s hand and was holding it to his chest. He was fast asleep and soon so was Pierre.
COLLAPSEWell, I’m smiling and crying. I love where this book ended and knowing where Pierre & Bill’s lives will lead just made it so much more special.
I can’t recommend this book enough and though, being a prequel, I really think it’s best to read these books in the order they were published.
My thanks to the author for his story. I’m really hoping we get a sequel to bridge all the stories together or maybe we can get the back story of Bill’s father’s life leading up to where this story ends?
Either way, I hope we get more. I just love these, real, complicated characters and need more of them to look forward too.
Kudos to Patrick Doyle. At this point I’ll read anything he writes without bothering to read a synopsis beforehand. I can’t recommend only say that about a select few authors.
Other Books By Patrick Doyle
Genre: Erotic Romance
Genre: Fantasy
Genre: Gay Lit
Genre: Mystery and Thriller
Genre: Romance
Genre: Science Fiction
