Book Cover: A Beginner's Guide to Her Majesty's Prison
Editions:Kindle - First Edition: £ 2.99
ISBN: 9798594648654
Pages: 98

This eye opening, seemingly unfeeling journey of a young and angry prisoner worms its way under the reader's skin by adopted the accessible and addictive prose of a self-help book.


Its controversial subject matter, foul language and acerbic wit are unrestrained and highly provocative.  The well-appointed and touching illustrations are certain to bring a tear to the reader's eye whether it is in sorrow or amusement. The characters are undefined yet immediately relatable for their exploits and motives.


Every word is refreshingly honest and direct as the protagonist pulls back the curtain on places and situations that are all too often whitewashed, exaggerated or misunderstood. This illustrated novella will indisputably serve as standard reference material for the subject of rehabilitation-focused incarceration in early twenty-first century Britain.


Overall, it is a perfectly distilled snapshot of a simpler world on the brink of profound change, which effortlessly touches on several relevant contemporary issues, including religion, sexuality and gender.


The first thing we were taught as listeners was never to judge (the second rule is don't repeat anything you hear, but rules were made to be broken). Most of the time, being non-judgemental was next to impossible due to the nature and severity of these men's crimes (sick, sick and more sick), but there was one person I truly liked due to their sense of humour and because the crime for which they were locked away was jarring, yet tragic.

Before we were introduced, I was 'warned' by a fellow listener that Rexham was a "man who wanted to have a sex change" and that "he's inside for trying to steal a baby because he wanted to be a mother". Of course, it didn't matter what Declan Rexham (who actually preferred to be called Danielle) intended to do with the child. Anything to do with kids, and the general population will cut your throat at best.


So Danielle was put on the VP wing, which was where I first went to see them late one night when they had a shortage of listeners down there (a listener takes three months to train). The screws asked me to talk to Danielle because they'd cut themselves up bad after being violently sexually assaulted, but they refused to say who did it.

This is a perfectly normal state of affairs in prison. There are a whole host of hypocrite scumbags that quietly stab each other in the back at the drop of a hat without sweating the consequences, and then you've got some scared little lad on the other end of the scale who doesn't dare speak out and decides to kill himself instead (R.I.F.P Tommy)...